I think River is still gone, so I decided to take it upon myself and do his Weekly Lagout. Of course, a Weekly Lagout is not a Weekly Lagout without River. To make it up to you, I will be doing my best River impersonation. This will not be my Weekly Lagout, but what River would Lagout if he was here to Lagout. You’ll see…
RIFT- Well, I’ve lost interest in this game. I’m just waiting for my sub to run out. I feel lonely without my Mage. The game is just not cartoony enough for me. Maybe, I’ll resub to it in the future when they downgrade the fun.
WAR- I mentioned last week I was thinking about resubbing to WAR. I am still thinking. Since I’ve been drunk all week and think I pissed myself because I was thinking too hard, I think I might think a bit more about kerplunking my time into it. I miss WAR’s RvR, but I can’t get over how much the non-RvR sucks. I’m back and forth with this game. I just think I thunk, when I took a kerplunk from being so drunk, in my ex-girlfriend’s trunk that is full of junk.
STO- I bought the damn CE for this game! I feel so stupid for buying it. I feel I need to play it more. It is kind of like when you piss all over your hands and feel you NEED to wash them before eating popcorn. My hands are wet and I’m eating popcorn. Yeah, that warm yellow liquid is not butter topping.
WoW- Man, I have been salivating over my Mage goodness. I was like, pew, pew, frost shield, pew, pew, auction house bitch, pew, pew, riding in my choppa, Pyroblast, pew, pew, rollin’ in my six-deuce. I feel on top of the world with my Mage. I love my Mage. My Mage is sexy. I want to marry my Mage. <3 Mage
SWTOR- A lot of juiciness has been coming out of whale’s vagina Comic-Con. I see we can now preorder the game. I’ll tell you right now; I am going to play the crap out of this game until my Mage feels lonely. Ok, I’ll play it for 1 month and keep talking about how I am going to resub to it every Friday during Weekly Lagout. I just don’t think I can play a game that doesn’t have Mage. I’ll probably by the CE and regret it.
I love myself, mainly. I want to thank Bee and Scarybooster for filling in for me. If Scary had a vagina I would be at his house in seconds. To Bee: She does have a vagina… Call me m’kay /wink. I’m sure I can get drunk and queue in a BG all night with you.
WELL, MY CHICKEN CLUCKS AND I’M OUTTA BEER!
**From the Desk of River – I want to thank Scary, and Bee from the bottom of my heart. I hope you had as much fun writing this week, as I did reading your stuff. Your friend Riv.