Let’s Beat a Dead Horse called Feminism
First I love beating a dead horse, not a real horse, I just like dissecting a topic, and analyzing it alot.
So the Bossy Pally made a post about Identity, and Self Identity. In it she made a reference to an older post from a different blogger the Noisy Rogue, she used it as a reference of escapism. That this blogger was escaping the crucible of his life by using games. Though the post was more pointed at feminists, and used to slander them almost. It basically said you come to my house, you play by my rules. Plus NPR is doing a show on it as well. It made me think, “Has things gotten better?”
A House Divided…
As of March, I see feminism again becomes a topic among some of my fellow bloggers. This time Effraeti stand’s up and says she is not a feminist. After reading her post, I found myself agreeing with ALOT of what she said. Unfortunately the Feminists did not, and they launched an offensive. These feminists crying they are oppressed by society, and that they want to be treated equally, even when they separate themselves by hate rhetoric, and toss someone who wants more equality under the bus. As a the former president Abe Lincoln once stated, “A house divided, can not stand” . As long as Feminists continue to keep everyone at arm’s length with hate, and not try to embrace their female sisters who don’t subscribe to their hateful rhetoric, they will not be taken for serious.
Ack…Ack…A…Dack
There was a Flinstones episode where Betty, and Wilma want to see what the Boys do at their lodge, and to get in they have to say the password…”Ack, Ack, A Dack” I noticed that over my lifetime, that women always want to break into male oriented things, then when their in, demand things become more girlie. When a girlfriend comes into my male dominated house first thing they do is buying throw pillows, and scented candles. Men don’t have this need to be a part of anything female oriented, well most straight men I know. We don’t go into an Oprahs Bookclub, and demand we read Vince Lombardi’s book. (I’ll wait why the women google that) When we resist, we are being horribly male. Yes gaming is male dominated, what gives you the right to demand anything? Because you’re female, you have the right not to be looked down upon by us males until you prove yourself. In male culture, that’s what we do on a daily basis, we prove ourselves. Feminists love to mention privilege, I don’t think males have privilege, we have our own trials and tribulations, and your right we may have some privileges, but you as a female have a different set of privileges.
Where I let the little head, do the thinking for the big head…
I was reading over my thoughts (sadly empowered fire is gone, another arch enemy gone ) over this subject from a couple years ago, and I noticed it hasn’t changed alot. I feel we all have our problems, whether you’re a male, or female. We all have those expectations placed on us, it’s up to us to either live up to those, or break the mold so to speak. Now I am not the same man I was 2 years ago, I think I’ve become more open…well a little bit more. I do believe we live in a violent culture, and that we as humans are nothing more than animals with a thin veneer we call civility to mask our baser instincts. I have to illusions of what, or who I am. Let me put it this way, if we we’re alone on a desert island, and it was a choice between you, or me…who do you think is going to be dinner?
Is it getting better?
I posed that question to the Female Twitterati (What I call people who use Twitter), and some of them responded it really hasn’t, but the ability to discuss it has become more open. I think it’s a positive move. In spite of my caveman, phallic centric, sexist views, I really do believe in about 100 years from now things will be much different. If we get past 2012, those damn Mayan soothsayers, with all the phyto estrogens in our soy products, we’re all going to hermaphrodites. For right now though, we still have to live with each other, let’s try to play nice in the sandbox.
August 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm
Mmmm herms mmmmm
August 9, 2012 at 3:26 am
I would like to offer a tidbit on a very small portion of the issue at large and you touched on it with the mention of proving oneself and the trials and tribulations of men in social groups.
Gaming is a social activity that has long been male dominated. As such, how a gamer proves their worth, how gamers talk to one another, and especially how gamers insult each other (friendly or venomously) has been established primarily by men.
And let’s face it: women get catty, but men talk a lot of smack. Even compliments are often buried under tons of vulgarity or what could appear to be hate/slander/bigotry. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard straight men tell other straight men to go “eat a dick.” Sometimes it’s meant to be insulting, sometimes it’s not.
But when you add women to the mix, we mess up the formula for insulting each other. A guildie suggested I could obtain mats from the guild bank by sucking off an officer. He had no idea I’m a woman and he had no idea my boyfriend was in the guild, reading guild chat. Between two guys, no one would have batted an eye. But as soon as it was realized that I don’t have a penis, a line had been crossed. (I wasn’t really offended, more irritated that he was being so casual with me when he obviously had no clue who I was. And he did apologize after being notified by several people of his blunder.)
Men talk shit about everything and everything is fair game as an insult. So when a woman joins a male-dominated group, the men try to apply the same behavior to the new-comer, but obviously they can’t tease us for having small dicks. So the flavor of the insults change.
Here’s where men get split in to two categories and it’s very hard to tell them apart sometimes.
There are men that insult women because that’s what the norm is – to insult everyone regardless of gender/race/color/creed. It’s actually, in a twisted sort of way, demonstrating respect and making us “one of the guys.” Unfortunately, it can easily backfire and make the guy come off like a jerk. And then it gets misinterpreted and some chick goes off on a rampage to clean things up instead of giving back as good as she got.
Then there are the assholes that are insulting women BECAUSE they are women. They should be shot. If you can’t respect your momma you shouldn’t have been born.
OK, tidbit got a bit long. I could probably go on, but I think someone might get the gist.
August 9, 2012 at 9:43 am
Sounds like you are in the wrong guild.
September 8, 2012 at 3:26 pm
What is there of hate rhetoric in my post? I thought I had presented feminism as an inclusive, egalitarian and empathetic ideology. If you understood it as a hate speech, please read it again with an open mind. You chose to be offended, when my intention, and that of the other bloggers you mention, was to show what feminism is really about, when so many people seem unwilling to understand and attack us based on misinformed biased judgements, such as thinking that it is in any way related to hatred, to misandry, as you seem to point out.
Based on this quite opinionated post of yours, I would not expect you to take into consideration anything that I have said here or in my blog, but one can dream.
September 8, 2012 at 4:46 pm
Obviously you don’t read my stuff, no where did I say your speech was filled with hate. I merely stated you went on the offensive. Is that the same thing? I choose to be offended because you claim you want equality, but when you say your a feminist, you are saying females are superior. You go on the attack by sayung that people are unwilling to understand, and that we are related to misandry, and hate. Listen to yourselves, you claim to be taking the high road, but you belong right here in the gutter with all of us other hatemongers.
September 8, 2012 at 4:53 pm
When you claim that I am on the offensive, parading against males and whatnot, you say that my movement is that of hatred, when it is not.
Feminism is not about the superiority of females, it is about equality. That is which you do not seem to understand, or want to understand. Why are you offended by my post, or by my fellow feminist gamers? All we want is for the community to be more inclusive, of everybody, not just females.
I think that your opinion on women leaves much to be desired, which is really sad, since all that I said in my blog is that we are all equal, independently of our sex and gender, and that I wished we would stop thinking in gender constructs.
September 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm
No women I have no problem with, I have a problem with people feminist, male, with a vagina or a penis demanding respect. Respect is earned in gaming culture, I had to earn what little I had…why shouldn’t you? If feminist was about equality, why isn’t it called equalists? The mere label you put yourself under is offensive, and filled with hatred.