Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

I have this customer at the bank.  He comes in every single day.  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  If I didn’t work there, I would never come in.  It’s called Online Banking and an ATM.  Anyways, he needed to order some check copies, so I helped him with that.  The next day  he brought me in some daisies in a flower pot as a ‘thank you’.  So unnecessary for me just doing my required job, but very nice nonetheless.  I find now though, with him coming in each day, he mentions the flowers. “Oh wow, they still look very nice.” “I’m so glad you like them.”  It’s like he’s constantly reminding me of the good deed he did for me – so that I will make sure and repay him with future deeds.  Now, instead of just coming into the bank everyday to do his own business, he comes into the bank everyday and has me personally do ALL of his business.  And the second I start to feel frustrated or get annoyed?  Almost like he’s reading my mind, “My, don’t those flowers look pretty.”

So he did me a favor.  And now, I’m in his debt.

Now that i’ve prefaced, allow me to move on to a point here.  I promise I have one.

So my Tailoring is currently at 447.  Its one of the most frustrating things I’ve encountered in the World… of Warcraft.  Everything that I can use to skillup is green to me.  I’ve made close to 25 frostweave bags (which is roughly 1500 frostweave cloth) and have only moved ahead from 445-447.  After exhausting every possible frostweave cloth resource I could think of (including all but the unreasonably priced cloth on the AH) I succumbed to the fact that I was going to have *shudder* FARM for it.  A quick search of google landed me in the land of the Pugnacious Priest.  This looked like a perfect spot for me.  Being a disc priest with no shadow offspec, yellow mobs are wonderful. If I pull too many mobs and start to go OOM, not all the fears in the world are saving me.  This allows me to pick and choose.

I get atop my frosty flying carpet and fly into the area she has marked on the map.  Much to my surprise there is a Ret Paladin (named Páládín, soooo creative) already in that exact spot, farming the very mobs I desire.  Being the buff happy priest I am, I drop down, give him the trifecta and pause, expecting a buff in return.   I don’t get kings.  I don’t get wisdom.  *sigh* Well, it is a Paladin.  I move along, up to another group of red mobs, and begin the slowest farming in history.  I soon become bored and log out.

Next time I log in and farm for a bit, there he is again, in the same spot, doing the exact same thing.  I attempt to message him at this point and see if I can cut a deal on the frostweave he is farming.  No response.  HMMMM.  As most of you more experienced players have already guessed, he is botting.

Now as if to align the very fates themselves not a minute or so later I see our botting Páládín friend being slewn by Alliance feral druid.  He does not attempt to defend himself, obviously, and goes down rather quickly.  Not being one to miss a perfectly good chance to get involved with real world pvp, I fly over/drop down/fear/and kill.  Páládín stays dead for a few minutes.  In the mean time I use “his” spot.  It sooo much better than the spot I’ve been farming in.  Friendly yellow mobs, so weak and killable.  I fall in love with this piece of property and I never ever wanna leave.

Five minutes or so pass and Páládín returns, and with him, the Alliance druid.  This time I offer Páládín my protection.  I nearly kill the druid again (fucking dash) , all the time providing shields and heals to a bot.

Now, this motherfucker owes me.  He’s in my debt, and it’s time to start paying up.

I decide to stand directly on top of him and just dot all the mobs that run up.  Since we are not grouped together – and the botting program is not set to recognize whether or not a mob is grey to him …. I’ve found my own personal farming bitch.  Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot, Shadow Word: Death, Dot ….. aggroed by consecration.

:)

After about 30 minutes of dotting and dotting I had collected nearly 8 stacks of frostweave.  Not too shabby.  I’ll be at 450 in no time.

26 Responses to “Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto”

  1. pitrelli Says:

    haha nice story, I see bots all the time and I even recieved a whisper from someone asking if I was a bot when i was doing one of my ore collecting spells of ice crown. Anyway I’ll keep an eye out for this and see if I can profit in anyway lol

  2. theerivs Says:

    Can’t you just make spellweave robes, with frozen orbs so cheap, and everything else cheaper these days should be a cinch

  3. Nicely played! Use the filthy automaton to your advantage!

  4. I just prefer farming the AH to make money, and than just buying the mats. Killing mobs for mats is crazy boring, and I could never do it for than 15 minutes because it seemed like hours.

    • I agree, farming is the most boring thing ever. I had completely bought out the AH of the mats at this point and was very desperate. The only stacks of frostweave I left on the AH were 999% of value according to my auctioneer addon. The seller had them up for 40g a stack. I’ve never paid over 10g per stack on my server.

  5. theerivs Says:

    Oh and ya know I come into the bank cause I got nothing to do. Geez. Now it puts the lotion on, and puts it in the basket.

    PUT THE GOD DAMN LOTION ON!

  6. “I decide to stand directly on top of him and just dot all the mobs that run up. ” ahahaha that’s smart :D

  7. That is awesome! What’s the botter gonna do, report you?

    • Exactly my thoughts! I also wonder what the guy behind Páládín thought when he logged on to find his farming had produced much fewer items. LOL

  8. Make the 22 slot Glacial mammoth bags. Buy the mats for 200g and sell the bag for 350g.

  9. Good story, I like the idea of using bots against themselves.

  10. Well Played!

    The only thing I ask is that you remember to report him once you’ve finished farming the farmer-bot.

  11. this was a crack up.. that spot is supposed to be used for good though! not Evil ( bots are evil) Glad it continues to be a useful place

  12. My husband and I did this once on a Diablo 2 bot. We figured out his game creation sequence and then just kept jumping into games with him and steeling the loot after he killed whatever he was killing (probably Mephisto but I can’t remember for sure)….was awesome!

    And the flower guy kinda sounds weird…good luck with that.

  13. Belated welcome aboard Bee.

    • theerivs Says:

      She’s not a Lock either :P

    • Why thank you :). Your blog is actually where I first discovered River’s blog. I enjoyed your posts so, and then saw such snarky remarks and had to check out High Latency Life. Fast forward, and here we are. I’m glad to see that you are back and posting again. My heart feels full again. <3

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