Mike’s Theory on Women
My buddy Mike, who I chewed some dirt with over the years. We know each other from playing Dark Ages of Camelot, then later we moved on to World of Warcraft. Since we’re both critical thinkers, and the fact he was a healer, and I was a warrior, We use to go back and forth on Vent like an old married couple. He’s a good guy, but since I’ve known him so long I understand him more, but sometimes he says something that throws even me for a loop.
Yesterday he said a couple of things that started Twitter buzzing. Mike said,
” I have a theory, seriously, listen to this. Women who play WoW, are likely to be bitter, unhappy individuals in real life.’
Then he go on and says….
“I base my entire argument on experience. Out of the many I have played/guilded/grouped/etc with, only about 1 in 10 seem happy.”
In our early career of gaming, I’m going have to be honest….. he’s right.
Girls use to fall into 2 categories, with rare exceptions.
1. Depressed, somewhat anti-social girls.
2. Significant Others who now enjoy gaming because the man in their life games.
Here’s the thing though, I think his gaming experience is not as vast as mine. I spanned several servers, and met along the way more females. The landscape of women in MMO’s is hugely different then it was say 3 years ago. Through the blogosphere, and my adventures through WAR, and switching servers, and factions in WoW. I crossed path with a more diverse bunch of women, some of them sexy, others got it going on and carry the mantle of leadership. Sure I came across some of the EMO type, and some that needed their husband/boyfriend to hold their hand.
I think one of the things that open my eyes is my newest Guild, Brotherhood of Oblivion. The Guild Leader is female, and I guess like attracts like cause we got ALOT of women in our guild, more than I ever had before. Though I joke with them saying their lesbian, and manhaters nothing could be farther than the truth, these women know their roles and it ain’t in the kitchen, some of the best tanks, healers, and dps’ers I have seen. I wish every guy who has a sour experience with women could join us for a raid, and see this women work….
But you can’t these be my hoes, so step off. LOL!
I think the problem is most Men have only a small view of their gaming culture like Mike, and only see the girls that fall in those 2 generalization types of girls. So I don’t fault Mike at all because I am not the norm of most male gamers, and some of them to hold that view, I think as time goes on these generalizations will diminish, we will have more girl gamers then ever, and there will be such a wide array of girls even Mike will have to swallow his words.
Ladies, anything you want to add?
March 5, 2010 at 4:51 pm
A lot of guys who play WoW are twats like your friend? Dunno man, I got nothing.
March 5, 2010 at 4:57 pm
I dunno, you could say similar stuff about men who game, after all I meet a crazy number of guy gamers who whine a lot, can’t hold a job, live with their parents and are “depressed, anti-social types”.
Being bitter and depressed is part of the stereotype traditionally thrown at all gamers, regardless of gender.
March 5, 2010 at 4:57 pm
LOL Good one Spinks. Most of the men I met playing WoW fell into these categories:
1. Underage losers just looking to flirt with pretty girls
2. Power hungry asshats who only find control in this game
3. Few and far between – really good guys who are friendly, outgoing and willing to help.
I have been playing for 3 years now, and I raid 3 times a week. I am very happy. Have a great job and a great family and a great guild (minus a few asshats).
But I have met some of those bitter women, but I’m not one of them…so, not ALL women who play WoW are like that.
I’m done now.
March 5, 2010 at 5:00 pm
<— "got it going on and carry the mantle of leadership"
While I may get frustrated and tired of herding kittens, I don't think I'm near depressed. And I raid harder than my husband.
March 5, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Perhaps they are depressed and unhappy because they are grouped with him?
lol. No really, while that may have been true when MMOs were less popular, nowadays I feel like it is much more common to see chicks just playing because we like it.
I may also be in the minority though as I’m also in a highly successful guild with a woman GL. The guild ratio women to men is probably more like 60:40, and the men are just as likely or more so to be shy/depressed as the women.
March 5, 2010 at 5:06 pm
I stand by what I said – sure it might seem like most are depressed and bitter, but that’s because the depressed and bitter are the more vocal masses. It’s far more common to hear people say things like “my life sucks!” than “here are all the reasons that I’m amazingly happy!” People find talking about happiness boring – how much can you say about feeling good?
Not only that, but upbeat, self-actualized happy people don’t need validation from other people who they play WoW with. People who are unhappy are more likely to need it.
March 5, 2010 at 5:31 pm
^^^^^ This.
Not only is contentment rather dull to anyone else? When other people are complaining about their problems, how much of an asshole do you have to be to be like “Well, my life is all flowers and sunshine and puppies!”?
March 5, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Oh geez… keep me far away from this friend of yours. It would not be pretty.
I agree with Spinks.
March 5, 2010 at 5:12 pm
As a lady who started MMO experience following my significant other into gaming and have met some ladies myself, I am inclined to say that he’s probably been quite unlucky. I have to admit that I find a lot of emo male gamers myself, along with the batch of usual good guys, immature guys, and the like more often than finding guys who seem rather happy. It swings both ways, and as I’ve noticed, misery loves company, especially if they’re just as miserable.
Besides that, being a lady and getting on vent to talk to guildmates also brings out the losers with comments like “OMG are you really a girl?” or “OMG the girl on vent sounds so sexy, I am totally fapping to her voice!” among other comments, it makes ladies probably feel much less about themselves. Guys tend to freak out and got nuts once they find out a girl is in the midst. A good percentage of girls might have started out happy, but then tapered off because of being treated like objects, whereas a few might actually just rise above it and say “Screw this. Look at me, I DPS/Tank/Heal better than a MAN!” and enjoy that.
Also while I needed a little “hand holding” from my significant other to get the ball rolling, I eventually let go and branched out and did my own thing becoming far better than him. I enjoyed the MMO experience more than he did, rolling classes that he swore I’d be terrible at and yet I was doing pretty damn good with it. The point is, that while some of us ladies are indeed, unhappy/emo/anti-social/whatever there’s also the good percentage that actually enjoy the gaming. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say in the next few years perhaps there’ll be more happier ladies than not.
March 5, 2010 at 5:15 pm
This is flamebait like whoa…
*waves*
March 5, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Everytime I get in group with real life woman, I kind of sport a big chubby. I can’t stop thinking she wants me so bad. All the women I meet want me bad, but hide behind some fake man. I game not for the fun, but because it is easier to score with women in WoW than Craigslist. I got a big wand that goes pew pew and they know it.
(I’m just kidding! Some of my bestest friends ever play MMOs and they are women. Happily married women and no, they all didn’t follow their husbands into gaming. They found someone they loved and had a commonality. I would throw all my douchebag men gamers in the trash just to group with these well skilled, dedicated, honest, women. I have 10 or more great women friends that play games and 2-5 man friends that I can stand for a raid.)
March 5, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Everyone knows that FEMALES DO NOT PLAY WOW! These so-called “women” are just dudes with active imaginations and voice changing software. I’m afraid your friend has been duped.
March 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Talking with a guildie last night in vent and he says to Arioch and I, “Man I am glad the women I play with know their shit.”
Made me laugh
Rawr!
March 5, 2010 at 6:40 pm
You totally misrepresented what I said. I never stated that ALL women who play these games were bitter. Rather, I said most. Also, I wasn’t simply taking into account, one guild on one server as you made sound. I was referring to multiple servers and guilds on both WoW and Dark Age of Camelot as well as guilds on Star Wars Galaxies. Obviously, this is still an insanely small sample size, but I was simply making a statement, not performing an actual survey. When I thought about it, I noticed my theory fit in each of my OWN experiences while playing.
As I said in Twitter, if a woman gets defensive over my statement, then perhaps my argument is correct in their case. Either that, or your insecure about yourself. Otherwise, why the hell should it bother you?
Riv, I also said that there were guys who were crazy bitter as well. I described one vaguely and you were still able to pick his name out of the air. I said it was easier to make a generalization about women players because their numbers were far fewer than men. Never said, that male players didn’t have a common thread running through them.
March 5, 2010 at 6:44 pm
“As I said in Twitter, if a woman gets defensive over my statement, then perhaps my argument is correct in their case. Either that, or your insecure about yourself. Otherwise, why the hell should it bother you?”
If you tell me that I’m wrong, that just PROVES THAT I’M RIGHT! Cute.
March 5, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Can you give me an answer? Why would someone get defensive over a generalized statement if it doesn’t apply to them? Why should they give a crap?
March 5, 2010 at 6:59 pm
What if I said “most members of (insert racial group here) are (insert insult here).” If you were a member of that racial group, would you care that this was being said about you, even if untrue?
March 5, 2010 at 7:08 pm
If I didn’t have to deal with them personally like for work or something. Then no, I wouldn’t. He/she can have their beliefs, even if they are wrong.
I could be wrong. Personally, my intention, however, wasn’t to insult anyone. I simply made an observation to a friend on something that I experienced in my many years of playing MMOs.
March 5, 2010 at 7:01 pm
“Can you give me an answer? Why would someone get defensive over a generalized statement if it doesn’t apply to them? Why should they give a crap?”
Because if no one protests, people BELIEVE generalized statements.
March 5, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Well, my original statement was made to a friend DIRECTLY. He choose to broadcast it.
March 5, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Also, just because it is a generalization. That reason in and of itself doesn’t mean it isn’t true. People can just as easily talk about how their experiences weren’t that way. In the end, its still just speculation.
March 5, 2010 at 8:05 pm
I think this was all just a set up for Rivs to get lots of women posting on his blog.
Well played, sir.
March 5, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Maaaayyybeeee….
March 5, 2010 at 9:17 pm
If we are counting… I am a socialized, intelligent, confident and happy woman.
I enjoy cute puppies, pretty purple trees with pink leaves and pwning others in battlegrounds.
I would say I inherited my love of gaming/fantasy from my father. He was always into comic books, collecting action figures, etc.
I wanted to be Catwoman when I grew up.
Still do.
March 6, 2010 at 4:37 am
“As I said in Twitter, if a woman gets defensive over my statement, then perhaps my argument is correct in their case”
And when did you stop beating your wife?
March 8, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Guess you are part of the 90th percentile. Too bad, so sad for you and your pathetic life.
March 8, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Wow…I’m depressed and bitter and it looks like I’m the minority. :p. Sometimes….
No one is one way all the time…silly boy.