So you met that Dream Geek Girl?

Well it’s getting close to Valentine’s day, and you met a wonderful girl online. But is she really a girl, or is she a G.I.R.L (Guy In Real Life)There are alot of guys out there who play chicks, and to get their free gold they aren’t going to bust character for your sorry arse. Sure you can just come out and ask, Are you a girl?, or ask to see some pictures but then you run the risk of losing your new virtual sweetheart, or being lied to.

Your in luck friend…I devised a test for you.

1. Video Game Question: Are you a healer, dps, tank?

     If she answers healer add 3 points. DPS add 2 points, for tank add 1 point.  If she plays an orc male rogue named Bob, -2 points.

2. Pop Culture Question: I never watched Jon and Kate plus 8, did you?

     If she answers yes add 2 points, no add 0 points, she answered she never missed a show it’s not a negative, but she might be bat shit crazy.

3. Pop Culture Question : Did you see what Lady Gaga was wearing at the Grammys?

    If yes add 2 points, no add 0 points, she says the same thing I wore to my drag performance – 2 points.

4. General Knowledge Question : What the hell is Fuchsia?

     She answers a pink purple color add 2 points, if she says a color add 1 point, she says it’s the name of my penis – 4 points.  

5. What kind of pets does she like?

     If she likes cats add 2, if she likes dogs add 1, if she like pythons  -1 point. Any girl that can feed mice to a python either has a penis, or likes women more then you do.

6. Situational Question: If  she was driving, and got lost what would she do?

If she said stop ask for directions add 2 points, if she said not stop, and try to find the way – 2 points.

7: Situational Question: If playing around in bed, and you fart and hold her head under the covers, and give her a Dutch Oven, Would she?

Hit you, and call you gross add 2 points, Enjoy the aroma of you man stench, and then do the same to you add 1 point, teabag you – 3 points.

8. Sports Question : Scream “Go Penquins!”

Her reply is I love those little birds too add 5 points, if she asks if that’s some sort of sports team add 2 points, if she goes, “Fuck the Pens, Go Hawks!’ -3 points.

9. Movie Question: Have you ever cried at a movie that doesn’t contain a dog, soldier, or a sports figure dyeing?

If she has cried at other movies, add 2 points, if she only cried at these types of movies -1 points, if she cried tears of joy at the end of Too Wong Fu, then – 10 points.

10. General Knowledge Question: Do you have a vagina?

Yes add 100 points, if she answers now I do add 5 points, if no subtract 100 points.

Ok let’s see how your dream girl scored.

Above 100 points, She’s a girl, and lets face it your not going to get any better if you have to give this test. Just ask her to marry you, and bare your spawn, and be done with it.

From 0 -100 – She may or may not be a girl, or she use to be a guy. Either way take a chance, can’t be any worse then what you usually do on Saturday night with the bottle of Jergens lotion.

Below 0 – Yeah she’s a dude, you can stop giving her stuff now…unless you like your chicks with a little something extra you freaky bastage.

21 Responses to “So you met that Dream Geek Girl?”

  1. Win dude full of win. Must stop laughing.

  2. Haha, I just lost a good 10 minutes of productivity from laughing so hard at this and sending it to all my friends…

  3. Awesome. Just awesome.

  4. Always with the transgender references… What are you hiding Rivs? Hmmm? o.o

    • Yes, I run several shemale porn sites, and I just use this site as a cover to drive traffic there, by the way Grim, we need to talk about your bill.

  5. Sarama, I raise your 10min and give you 20min as I plan to answer these questions and get my score. :)

    1. Video Game Question: Are you a healer, dps, tank?
    I’ll take “Healer” for 3.

    2. Pop Culture Question: I never watched Jon and Kate plus 8, did you?
    No – not more than what they show on “The Soup”. But I think the guy that hosts that show (Joel McHale) is hot. Humor turns me on. I’m gonna give myself +1 point for talking too much… since that’s what girls do.

    3. Pop Culture Question : Did you see what Lady Gaga was wearing at the Grammys?
    No – I get zero points on this one. I’m surprised that I didn’t see it on your blog though River… you do have a soft-spot for the tranny, n’est-ce pas?

    4. General Knowledge Question : What the hell is Fuchsia?
    Purple, bright ugly purple. 2 pts.

    5. What kind of pets does she like?
    Dogs +1… on a side note: the most disgusting thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life is related to some dudes I knew in college that had snakes. We would go over to their house to hang out with them *cough*smoketheirweed*cough*. All 3 of them had their own snakes and to feed these snakes they kept an aquarium with mice in it. They would leave this on their back porch and only access it when it was feeding time. They also did not give the 8 or so mice they were keeping any food at all. We went out on the porch to have a smoke and I looked in the cage. OH how I wish I hadn’t. It was lord-of-the-flies in there. There was mouse that was dead and being cannibalized by the other mice. One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen.

    6. Situational Question: If she was driving, and got lost what would she do?
    Thanks to my Garmin I no longer have to pull over and ask for directions. But yeah, I’d pull over as long as it wasn’t a scary part of town. +2

    7: Situational Question: If playing around in bed, and you fart and hold her head under the covers, and give her a Dutch Oven, Would she?
    Gross. I’d probably do the same back, but there will never EVER be a time I like the smell of a man’s fart. +1.5 pts.

    8. Sports Question : Scream “Go Penquins!”
    What’s a PenQuin? :D I’ll forfeit my points for being the spelling police. BTW hockey, right?

    9. Movie Question: Have you ever cried at a movie that doesn’t contain a dog, soldier, or a sports figure dyeing?
    I’ve cried at hallmark commercials AND Walker, Texas Ranger. Additional point bonus +3pts.

    10. General Knowledge Question: Do you have a vagina?
    +100 :D And I don’t want to hear anything about screenshot or it doesn’t count.

    110.5. The estrogen is strong with this one.

    -10.5 for Star Wars reference.

    100. Ack. Fine.

    • Yes, hockey…and I don’t really love the trannies…..But if there are any hot ones reading this my number is (708)555-4327.

  6. Joe testicle Says:

    I’m the dude in the photo above.

  7. Fuchsia is a flower ;/ And if I was driving and got lost, I’d stop and look up where I was on google maps on my smartphone!

    • If you knew Fuchsia was a flower +20 to your girl score…and looking it up is the same as asking for directions in guydom

  8. I scored 104 … come on boys, come get you some ;)

  9. Hmmm….117. Guess I’m must be a girl. But…I used to feed rats (not mice) to a 10 foot Burmese Python. In order to help keep the snake from getting mean it’s best to kill the rats first. ::shudders:: Didn’t work. Fucking snakes.

  10. Pugnacious Priest Says:

    Just checked.. and yes I am a girl! cheers for clearing that up.. and yes that was very amusing :)

  11. [...] at High Latency Life has a hilarious quiz to determine a player’s gender.  If you’re confused, go there [...]

  12. 111. Mostly because my response to “GO Penguins!” was “Don’t you mean, Go Wings?! And, can we just talk about football instead? I mean, my Saints won the SuperBowl, ya know.” ^_^

  13. [...] a handy-dandy test to find out if you are dealing with a girl or a G.I.R.L. (guy in real life).  Check out the test, then I’ll tell you my [...]

  14. 119 here. Only lost points on not being a healer and never seeing Jon and Kate +8.

  15. This made me laugh. My long-term arena partner assumed I was a guy when we were first arranging to play together, then we were on vent and he was a bit ‘oh, ummm, I see you’re a girl then’. Vent is such a giveaway and I’ve had a couple of WoW friends who’re mistaken as guys till they’re spoken to on vent.

  16. [...] at High Latency Life has a hilarious quiz to determine a player’s gender.  If you’re confused, go there [...]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 63 other followers

%d bloggers like this: